Today is my cousin Chris' birthday, he would have been 30 today. I had to write for my nicca, because it seems every year I miss his birthday, and I did not realize it has been 15 years since he has been gone. Meaning he pasted at the age of 15. His death was truly a tragedy, and he was so badly damaged it was amazing he was able to have a open casket.
To Chris::
Hi, my love..I know I barely talk to you these days but you know you are always in my heart..and I love you unconditionally. Please talk to your mother..she still has not dealt with your passing, and it is truly pathetic the way she wants everyone to feel sorry for her. You have been gone for 15 years and she acts as if you left yesterday..explain to her your okay and your somewhere much better, she don't have to worry. She needs to hear it from you, because from anyone else, it doesn't seem to register. I miss you A LOT..you don't even know me outside of deeder dot. LOL. Yea I'm all grown up now. All us kids reminsice over you sometimes..and we just laugh so hard, thinking of all the things we can remember. I remember your braces like it was yesterday. Always playing with them damn rubber bands. You know what I thought about today?? You always farting on B.j, Justin, Troy, and Cory's heads...LMAo...that shit is so nasty..but was too funny. Syurp Sandwiches with thick ass nasty KING syrup. LOL. OMG...you loved peanut butter && jelly...it was ridiculous how many you ate in a day. I eat mines just like you tho..A LOT of peanut butter and a little bit of jelly. I miss your dirt bike..us following Dinky and you to the quarry. Awww say hello to Dinky for me..tell him we miss him as well..and he is not forgotten either. Have you seen Granddad yet?? I know you have..I know he was soo happy to see you. You know you were always more like grandma && granddad's then ya moms. Grandma is doing much better these days..Bonnie keeps her ass busy and that's what she needs. Man I have so much I could say..but I don't know where to begin. I hate that I didn't get more time with you..but I understand that wasn't the plan. From how everything happened..I know you knew it was your time to go..I just wish you could see me today..and your brothers and sister, and everyone...Well I know you see us but get to interact with us..see our different persoanlities first hand..it's so beautiful when we all get together. We have so much fun..there are no words for my mouth..lol..and that's the highlight. Missy and Nikki miss you greatly..after everything you wouldn't believe the nightmares they had, and how they would scream and cry through half the night. I think they felt partly responsible, but missy told me the story about when you pooped in the tub when yall was little, and ya'll all got beat..LOL..Nasty ass. Buckles just came home a few weeks ago...hopefully for good this time..after a life of in and out of jail..I think these last 5 years behind bars really put shit in prospective for him. Plus, Willium and Buckles both missed granddad's funeral, and Willium missed yours, and Buckles only got a few minutes to be there due to prison, so I think they have a desire to do something better now. Willium will be home in a week or two and since they don't live in Mt. Airy no more and Rennie and all dem still locked up..I think change will FINALLy come. Thank God! I am tired of seeing my family repeat the same habits..BUT the family cycle is breaking...because all of us starting from missy && nikki down have changed shit around..Anyway, kiss G-Dad for me, and Dinky, and Donna..and tell them everyone misses them. I see Donnie sometimes..especially around the time he got out..and I can tell by looking into his eyes he feels responsible...ask Donna to talk to her brother. He needs peace with everything as well. But I love you, I miss you, and just watch over me and make sure I do as I should. *MUAH* Until later...bye.
To Chris::
Hi, my love..I know I barely talk to you these days but you know you are always in my heart..and I love you unconditionally. Please talk to your mother..she still has not dealt with your passing, and it is truly pathetic the way she wants everyone to feel sorry for her. You have been gone for 15 years and she acts as if you left yesterday..explain to her your okay and your somewhere much better, she don't have to worry. She needs to hear it from you, because from anyone else, it doesn't seem to register. I miss you A LOT..you don't even know me outside of deeder dot. LOL. Yea I'm all grown up now. All us kids reminsice over you sometimes..and we just laugh so hard, thinking of all the things we can remember. I remember your braces like it was yesterday. Always playing with them damn rubber bands. You know what I thought about today?? You always farting on B.j, Justin, Troy, and Cory's heads...LMAo...that shit is so nasty..but was too funny. Syurp Sandwiches with thick ass nasty KING syrup. LOL. OMG...you loved peanut butter && jelly...it was ridiculous how many you ate in a day. I eat mines just like you tho..A LOT of peanut butter and a little bit of jelly. I miss your dirt bike..us following Dinky and you to the quarry. Awww say hello to Dinky for me..tell him we miss him as well..and he is not forgotten either. Have you seen Granddad yet?? I know you have..I know he was soo happy to see you. You know you were always more like grandma && granddad's then ya moms. Grandma is doing much better these days..Bonnie keeps her ass busy and that's what she needs. Man I have so much I could say..but I don't know where to begin. I hate that I didn't get more time with you..but I understand that wasn't the plan. From how everything happened..I know you knew it was your time to go..I just wish you could see me today..and your brothers and sister, and everyone...Well I know you see us but get to interact with us..see our different persoanlities first hand..it's so beautiful when we all get together. We have so much fun..there are no words for my mouth..lol..and that's the highlight. Missy and Nikki miss you greatly..after everything you wouldn't believe the nightmares they had, and how they would scream and cry through half the night. I think they felt partly responsible, but missy told me the story about when you pooped in the tub when yall was little, and ya'll all got beat..LOL..Nasty ass. Buckles just came home a few weeks ago...hopefully for good this time..after a life of in and out of jail..I think these last 5 years behind bars really put shit in prospective for him. Plus, Willium and Buckles both missed granddad's funeral, and Willium missed yours, and Buckles only got a few minutes to be there due to prison, so I think they have a desire to do something better now. Willium will be home in a week or two and since they don't live in Mt. Airy no more and Rennie and all dem still locked up..I think change will FINALLy come. Thank God! I am tired of seeing my family repeat the same habits..BUT the family cycle is breaking...because all of us starting from missy && nikki down have changed shit around..Anyway, kiss G-Dad for me, and Dinky, and Donna..and tell them everyone misses them. I see Donnie sometimes..especially around the time he got out..and I can tell by looking into his eyes he feels responsible...ask Donna to talk to her brother. He needs peace with everything as well. But I love you, I miss you, and just watch over me and make sure I do as I should. *MUAH* Until later...bye.
Love,
Dee
"LiKe I droppeD straigHt FroM HeaVeN"
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